kissing is great
but wow when you get to kiss someone you have feelings for and you’ve wanted to kiss them for the longest time and you get to stroke their face and you’re so aware of their body and how nice their lips feel
i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens
oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man
how many times do you think you’ve seen the same bird twice.
out of all the things on this website that have fucked me up this is one of the worst
this is what i just picked up from the grocery store. it cost $32. Thirty. two. dollars. for 1 pineapple, 2 bags of grapes, a small container of raspberries, 1 soft drink and 2/$1 nuts….
do you know how much junk food i could have for $32? do you have any clue how much McDonald’s you can get for $32?
stop shaming fat people poorer than you or people poorer than you in general for not eating healthier. stop lying about how cheap it is or how it’s comparable to fast food. just stop.
put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.
i couldn’t make this up even if i tried
The SSB4 rooster looks good so far!
gravity falls seems like one of those shows that kids who are like 8 years old right now will rewatch ten years down the road and go “what the fuck? this was fucked up. did this fuck me up? this probably fucked me up”
things to say during sex
- hey wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds??? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- well well well, someones looking desperate!
- man its been so long since ive inhabited a body!
- [slaps self] WOO [slaps self again] WOO! haha
- pain is hilarious!
- boy these arms are durable
More trash for your dash
So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:
this is a show about killing people